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Allow me to apologise in advance if you've come to Magic Beyond the Box today expecting a hard-hitting, in-depth look at the preconstructed world of Magic: the Gathering, but I hope you won't be too disappointed. I'll be taking one of the Mirrodin Besieged Event Decks into battle right out of the box on Game Day this weekend, and next week's column will detail the agony and ecstasy of that light-brigade charge.
Instead, we have a contest to announce of such excitement that we didn't want to tuck it away on the bottom of a column. That was fine for our foil Elspeth Tirel/Fauna Shaman giveaway. This is something much bigger!
As you know, Wizards has been going all-out pushing the theme and flavor of war between the Mirrans and Phyrexians for this block, and the prerelease for Mirrodin Besieged really drove that flavour home. Special "Faction Pack" boosters were whipped up just for it and have been commanding quite a premium on the secondary market. Prereleases in general are always a lot of fun, but as one-shot events if you missed it... you missed it!
...or did you?
We here at Quiet Speculation are delighted to offer you a second chance at a prerelease. Or perhaps for some of you a second prerelease, as this contest is open to everyone! But first, allow us to tantalise you with the Grand Prize!
What's Up for Grabs?
Just like at the prerelease, the winner of the Second Chance contest will gets to declare a faction (Mirran or Phyrexian). That gets them either
That's three Mirran faction packs, a foil prerelease promo Hero of Bladehold, an Ultra Pro deck box, and the limited edition faction card box released for the event.
Alternately, the winner might prefer...
That's three Phyrexian faction packs, a foil prerelease promo Glissa, the Traitor, an Ultra Pro deck box, and the limited edition faction card box released for the event.
Is That All?
We're just getting started! The winner also recieves the following:
* Three boosters of Scars of Mirrodin, to complete the prerelease experience
* Two card boxes (one for each faction) from the Mirrodin Besieged Fat Pack
* An original drawing from Inkwell Looter from one of the designs recently featured on his website
* As Magic players, we all make misplays, and even the most advanced profession players will tell you they make them often. You might have seen Jon Medina's feature match this past weekend on SCG Live at the Star City Open in Washington, DC, where he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Because this is the Second Chance sweepstakes, Jon will be sending the winner one of the foil Destructive Forces from his deck, signed by him to commemorate the occasion!
Wow, sounds great! So how do I enter?
It's simple! Just leave a comment here, for this "article," describing why you missed out on the prerelease the first time around. It could be the savage, naked truth. It could be a stunning flight of fiction. It could be shameless embellishment. Or any combination you like! Whether you missed the bus, overslept, or were abducted by aliens, we want to know why you didn't make it and why are the one most deserving of that most rare and wonderful thing: a second chance!
The contest will run until 11:59 PM EST on Wednesday, March 9, 2011 at which time submissions will be closed. After that it will be in the hands of our panel of celebrity guest judges to decide who will be declared the winner and walk away with a veritable treasure chest of goodies. The winner will be notified in the St. Patrick's Day (March 17, 2011) edition of Magic Beyond the Box!
Meet the Judges
Here's who will be judging the entries for the giveaway, in alphabetical order.
Filled with piss and vinegar (generally in the good sense), the gruff Dr. Jeebus is a fixture in Magic's Twitter community. He shares his no-baloney approach to the game each week here at Quiet Speculation and on his own weblog as well.
Noted Magic comic illustrator Inkwell_Looter is a regular presence in the community through his hilarious comics posted on his site. His work has been featured on the mothership, and most recently on the Wurmcoil token business cards used for Joe and Joey of the Yo! Mtg Taps podcast.
The brash and outspoken Boosh is a mainstay as one of the four members of one of the game's premier podcasts, The Eh? Team, where he brings his expertise and oversized personality as "The Limited Champion." Where he treads, casual flights tremble!
Bringing a touch of class to this rogues' gallery is Jimi, one of the founders of Ertai's Lament and a frequent playtester for the site's avowed quest to review each and every preconstructed deck ever released for Magic.
If the word 'legit' didn't exist, Jon would have invented it. As one of the game's preeminent financial and trading minds, he's a writer for Star City Games and the author of the well-established "Pack to Power" series.
In Conclusion
I'd like to wish good luck to all participants. Again, I'll be back with actual content next week for preconstructed Magic, but I'd say a giveaway is worth a little detour, no?
I was spending a year dead for tax reasons and couldn't show up to the prerelease because the irs would have found me.
Actual reason was that I had no money. I was at the card shop and couldn't join because I was 5 dollars short. So I got to watch the prerelease happen but could not take part in the fun.
At the time of the prerelease I was living in a town in country Victoria, Australia. There aren't any game shops in this town, or any chance of running a prerelease at all 🙁
I was chilling on my porch the night before, when I encountered a rather dear-looking little creature. The poor, wet beast (It was a thunderous rainstorm, as are all nights full of adventure), and I realised the poor beast was a Flensermite!
Now, I of all people know the dangers of the dear little gremlins, but the poor thing mewled and whimpered in the rain, as such gremlins tend to when exposed to such torrential downpour. And so, my once strong, steel-clad Mirran heart was given pause. In a moment of weakness, I welcomed the poor beast into my home, gave him a blanket, and some newspaper at the foot of my bed .
Of course this was a mistake, you can take the Phyrexian out of Phyrexia, but you can't take Phyrexia out of a Phyrexian. I learned this cruel lesson on waking, drenched in ichor, and totally compleat. There was no need for me to attend the prerelease, surely my side had already won!
Of course later in the month, I was rescued by a crack-team of Neurok commandoes, who used an ingenious combination of quicksilver and sentient water from the knowledge pool to cure my Phyresis.
And so I must right my wrongs, by attending a second fight for the Mirran side, with the packs from this promotion.
We Will Endure!!!!
The reason I missed this pre-release and about 4 other pre-releases is that I am currently living in a tent in the middle of a third world country. I am currently deployed to Afghanistan and live in the middle of Kandahar City. Unless Wizards is going to have Grand Prix Kandahar in the next few months I'm going to miss out on all specialty products and promotions.
It's the Myr!!! They are here and have been here for weeks! I have been able to hold them off up until now…but they just keep recycling! They are starting to get through. I don't know how much longer I can keep them away….Whats that?!?…I THINK ONE GOT THROUGH!!….MUST STOP THEM…..CAN'T!!…TOO MANY!!…OVERWHELMING!!!…CONTACT PHYREXIA!!!…SEND HELP NOW BEFORE ITS TOO….<gack>…<gurgle>…beeeeeeeeeeep……
I missed out due to my wife going into early labour ….
But in all fairness…
Overlytrusting should win this…..that was by far the most entertaining mtg short story ive read in a while….
I haven’t played paper magic in at least six months. I sold my paper collection to help with a down payment on my home. I miss my Kresh EDH deck. I miss busting packs in hopes of the next big card. Please Quiet Speculation, help me get started back on the legal drug that is Magic: the Gathering.
I haven’t played paper magic in at least six months. I sold my paper collection to help with a down payment on my home. I miss my Kresh EDH deck. I miss busting packs in hopes of the next big card. Please Quiet Speculation, help me get started back on the legal drug that is Magic: the Gathering.
I don’t have a car.
I missed my prerelease (and release) because the local shop decided to close down for refurbishment 5 months ago, despite their claim that they were supposed to be open again in December. And being registered for the prerelease. *facepalm* Of course, cars were running to the prerelease and release, so you're probably wondering why I didn't utilize those. Here's my answer: Aikido. Yes, Aikido, that most dreaded of martial arts had rendered me incapable of getting up early enough to get to the car that was going to the prerelease. So that's why I couldn't make it to the prerelease.
It was early Saturday morning, and I was eagerly awaiting the night, where I was to open my packs, being determined to attend my first prerelease ever. Unfortunately, events unforeseen would lead to my inability to attend this event.
As I walked down my street, humming, I noticed a dark shadow approaching me. I looked behind me, but saw nothing, and shrugged. I noticed it again, but this time I recognized it: my arch-nemesis: Bob, who was resolutely going Mirran at the prerelease. Unfortunately, I had announced my devotion to Phyrexia, and Bob decided to take that as an affront on his side’s culture, and thus decided to attack me on my early morning walk with what appeared to be nun chucks.
I missed the prerelease because the card shop caught fire. The actual cards & such weren’t damaged, so the managers rescheduled/relocated the prerelease, but they forgot to tell me.
Luckily for me, I had recently bought a sword (which was an exact facsimile of Worldslayer, for the weapons fanatics out there) and I whipped it out and proceeded to engage my acquaintance, who had decided to dress himself in ninja attire, a tad inappropriate given the suburban neighborhood and the bright sun that shone overhead. However, I was too busy fighting for my life and faction to comment on his atrocious fashion sense.
The duel was intense, as we roamed across the city, fighting from nine in the morning to seven at night. It was at that time when, perfectly synchronized so as not to miss the exact moment when we were to attend, both our watch alarms went off. The prerelease had begun, and neither of us were there. I landed my F-16 and he vacated his M-1 Abrams as we both sprinted towards the doors of our local store. Panting, we smashed through the doors, demanding our faction packs. Unfortunately, there was no more product, and we were both asked to leave, as there was a massive crowd in the building. As we exited, we blamed each other as the reason for our lateness, and the battle resumed, where it still rages to this day.
Had to split that into 2 comments. apparently it was "a little long". it was perfectly short for a novel!
Ultimately, I missed out on the prerelease because I couldn't afford to pay for my, my sons' and my daughter's entry fees. Sadly, dropping $120 on a weekend tourney when the family doesn't see me during the week is not acceptable.
Looking at some of these other reasons I relinquish my claim on the prize.
Well good sirs and ladies i was unable to attend the prerelease due to the simple fact aliens came in and stole my transportation money since my local prerelease is in a downtown area, by the time i got down there after scrounging enough dough for bus fare i found it had already started, so i thought to go the next day, well bitter irony happened again and this time those alien bastards decided to abduct me and study me, fortunately i knew kung fu, so i busted a few moves on their candy asses and escaped but by the time i got down to earth the prerelease was over, goddamn alien bastards
Actually, I won my prerelease. Don't get me wrong, but the Phyrexians are just waaay cooler, stronger and with that creepy clerical approach, much more badass. My side just swept the tables, and we had a same-faction final. On my way, I crushed with a deck full of bombs and lots of removal. I even decided to leave some artifact kill in the board to make room for more fearsome creatures. All will be one!
Except for the fact that I went with friends that so much wanted to play Phyrexia, that I went… Mirran. See, we pool our cards, and to get the OTHER promo, I had to mask as a Mirran.
I now want a chance to rectify my heretical deed and choose the glory that is Phyrexia!
I live in Chile, South America and I had the worst university term possible, I had 1 month of extra classes because of the earthquake and then, 1 more month of summer classes for a subject that 8 out of 25 guys passed =S …. I wasn't part of them. The same weekend I end all that stuff was the prerelease and I had to take one of the following options:
1. Go to the prerelease to have a great time with friends or
2. Travel 800 Km to see my dating girl who was going to travel to Brasil for the whole vacations the week after the prerelease
I had to pick my second choice. But with this price, everything would be perfect =D
Ok folks, everyone out here is going to spin you a yarn about how they missed the prerelease because of some sob story or another about how they had no money, or had to study or some other rubbish about what else was more important than going. Only one story above, to me, seems reasonable, and that is the fellow who is currently deployed. I missed my prerelease due to the arrival of my second son. To make matters worse, I was out and about with my first son during the prerelease registration, shopping for a gift for my wife to honor her work in bringing our newborn into the world, kicking and screaming. I drove past the event, and waved as all my friends questioned why I wasn't there, and then had to explain to my son, in the car with me, why I had told my friends that I hate them…
I also missed the release event, as getting out for MTG just doesn't happen when you have two kids, one of whom is a newborn. I think I missed many things, actually, but I have had so little sleep since
January that I'm not sure what they were… What day is it again? Sorry, only had 2 hours of sleep last night… and the night before… and the night… zzzz
I seem plagued by bad luck, though a small paranoid voice in my head wonders…
Game Day. Scars of Mirrodin. It was cold out, patches of ice foreshadowing the treachery to come. I'd left home early, allowing myself more time to get to the store…but upon turning off the highway I saw trouble. An accident had claimed two cars near the bridge. Common sense (or was it?) compelled everyone to slow down…bringing our progress to a crawl. As is my nature, I allowed plenty of room between myself and the vehicle ahead…but the person behind me was careless (or was she?) and failed to heed the danger.
I was struck from behind, creating a second accident…or was it an accident? Perhaps this had been a carefully staged event, meant to keep me from my inevitable victory.
Regaining control, police officers had already arrived on the scene. Perhaps in response to the first accident…or maybe they had been in place all along. The road blocked, I had no choice but to step out of my car and wait for the first accident to be dealt with. I wasn't fooled…
I'm sure I didn't imagine what I saw next. That cruel smirk on the face of the one who had hit me. The police, laughing quietly at me. Even those who had been injured (were they really?) carried smug looks…
At any rate, the delay proved costly.
You may think me paranoid, but I've not attended any major events since that day. Perhaps that first fender bender was merely a warning…a warning I've heeded. This contest allows me a chance, a chance to experience some measure of what I've missed…without exposing myself to those who might strike again.
What was that?!?! Someone at the door.
Should I answer?
…
I woke up and drove all the way to columbus, got there an hour before the tournament. I had to search for a parking spot, because ohaioCon was in the GCCC too. So I started wandering trying to find the room, in this large mass of people, and just as it was in my sight I was blocked by two really attractive neko cosplayers. I was convinced that I needed to follow them, and when two very attractive women tell you to come to their hotel room, you listen. I proceeded to go back with them, and well the details are a bit X rated, but I missed the beginning of the prerelease for a good reason, I was there for 4 hours, and after that I really didn't give a shit about magic, but now I regret it, because kitties had fleas >.<
I didn’t get a chance to participate in a proper pre-release, because I’m one of likely many disabled MTG players.
The only place near me that does M:TG isn’t near a wheelchair-accessible subway stop 🙁
I actually did make it to the prerelease, but I couldn’t stay to play because I got this terrible, dry cough, headache, and general flulike symptoms. I tried to play anyway, but I just couldn’t make it, and I felt so crappy that I dropped about halfway through and went home.
Don’t worry, there’s no ichor dripping from my eyes and I don’t think my flesh is fusing with any metal, so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Phyresis. Just the flu.
I never miss a prerelease. I'm like the mail – come rain, acid fog, or hellfire I will be there.
So imagine my annoyance to find that I had to be away all weekend the prerelease was going on. I had seen the spoiler and already decided on my promos (2 Glissa the Traitor). I always liked Glissa because she had so much potential and I'm glad that she finally realized it. Despite her affinity for green magic, I can think of a lot of ways to use her. But my absence prevented me from acquiring her. What could have stopped me for the first time in ages?
An important meeting with an old friend delayed me, but by no means should have caused me to miss both days of pack-ripping prerelease glory. However the meeting did not go as planned. You see, I am a businessman (of sorts) and this friend was instructed to bring me some…items of extraordinary value. Had they done so the prerelease would have gone as usual – my patented black, blue, and red decks packed with the best removal and 187-creatures the set has to offer. I'm such a lucksack. Instead of my friend I was greeted by some men in blue and white uniforms who had some questions about my business.
Despite my protestations they took me to a featureless room with bars set on one side. I could have escaped on the way there, but really I had done nothing wrong. There has never been a case against me in court that reached a negative conclusion. So I placated the authorities. I may have left out certain details, an instance that might have revealed my guilt was left unsaid. They grew weary and had no case, yet the law allowed them to keep me one night. It was cold so I requested candles and a book to read.
In that cell I thought long and hard about my 'friend', one Jason Small (an obvious pseudonym). Jason and I have collaborated together on many occasions, always to our mutual benefit. What had led him to blackmail me so? I could find out in the morning. Or I could go to the prerelease. I was angry, but my unbroken chain of prereleases was a title worthy of upholding. Finally with the book covering my face I slept.
I left the authorities and quickly proceeded home. I called Jason. No answer. He doesn't deign to answer my call? Doesn't he know who I am? My anger has been known to be quick and in this case my better judgment left me. I went to Jason's house where his mother answered the door. No, I would not like some tea and cookies. I am often mistaken for looking much younger than I really am. After minutes of mincing words I got the information. Jason was at the prerelease!
I rushed to the store we frequent, Legendary Cards, and scanned the faces looking for Jason. There he was in his trademark hoodie, pulling something out of his sleeve. Before I could reach him the store owner approached me, one Mr Erza.
Erza: "Didn't I ban you from the store?"
Me: "That was a long time ago…I thought we had agreed I wasn't too strong of a player for the locals."
Erza: "Hmm, yes. We had the same conversation at the Scars prerelease. Where you had miraculously pulled a Hoarde-Smelter Dragon and a Skithiryx, the Blight Dragon!"
Me: "It's no miracle, besides you know I get lucky with dragons."
Erza: "Aye, I've seen your 'luck' too many times. Well too bad for you but we've already posted round 1 pairings. Looks like you'll have to run to Planeswalker Paradise if you still want to get your prerelease."
Cursed Erza! He was right about the prerelease but I couldn't let Jason get the upper hand. I approached his table as he was shuffling his cards.
Me: "Jason, funny seeing you here. Weren't you supposed to stop by yesterday?"
Jason: "Don't you remember? Our deal is off."
Honestly I don't know what happened next. One minute we were there talking, the next it was as though time had stopped. I awoke with a black eye outside the store as dusk was falling. The prerelease was over. Jason was gone. One thought consumed me – revenge! But that is another tale for another time. Thankfully I saw this contest and decided to enter my 100% truthful account of that weekend. I really would like to own Glissa, the Traitor…
I would have fought for these 'Mirrans' that weekend, but I was too busy attending the prerelease for Wizard of the Coast's fast playing, hard hitting, collectible card game Duel Masters. I was quite surprised when I found out both prereleases were on the same weekend, given how much more popular DM is over Magic, and though one day I do plan on starting my own MtG collection, it just wasn't to be that weekend.
Chip-jacked liquid Hyper Dragonoids forever!
Was assigned as mirran, my packs contained 3x plague stinger, 2x ichorclaw myr, 1x cystbearer, 2x tainted strike, 1x tel-jilad fallen :/ it was too narrow to try infect.
I played WR tempo, with one shining star – Mirran Crusader. Kuldotha flamefiend was my only (and awesome) removal (not including double tumble magnet). Went 4:3 with 2 final games of 2 final rounds highly disappointing – Both times I was flooded: 11 lands and 4 business spells wont make it.
It was especially funny to play Tunnel Ignus just for a 2 power body for 2 and see opponents burn it immediately, worrying about some "sick combo" on that guys ability 🙂
To be honest, I didn't actually miss out on the Pre-Release. In fact, with the mark of Phyrexia on my arm, i won the one i went to! This did however mean that I missed out on getting any Mirran cards that day. Bad times 🙁
My son Joseph has chronic ear problems. We have taken him to several specialists to perform surgeries previously. Unfortunately, he had severe ear pains again and we took him in to the doctor and discovered his ear had perforated again. The surgery got scheduled as soon as possible, the Friday of pre-release weekend. From all accounts the surgery seemed to go well, but I spent pre-release weekend at home taking care of him. The silver lining? At least we got to eat some mint chocolate chip ice cream!
I missed playing in the pre-release because I was having to judge for it.
Unfortunately, at the time of the prerelease I was 16,000 feet above sea level, falling without a parachute. Three skydivers dressed in black fell above me, firing automatic weapons in my direction. I was able to take them out with my 9mm before they managed to hit me, and I grabbed a parachute from the body of the closest one. After I landed I was all set to head off to my local game store, when I got a tip that the crime boss who had tried to kill me was escaping in a helicopter from a nearby rooftop. After running up six flights of stairs to the roof, I jumped off the edge of the building and grabbed onto the skid of the helicopter. Climbing into the cockpit, I tossed the body guard out, then hit the pilot with the butt of my gun to knock him unconscious. I held the gun on the crime boss with one hand, while flying the helicopter back to company headquarters with the other. All of the sudden, I saw an RPG heading for the helicopter. I jumped out and tumbled onto a rooftop just before it exploded, killing the crime boss who was still inside. Leaping over the edge of the roof and down into a pile of cardboard boxes, I quickly identified and shot four enemy agents. Stealing a Porsche convertible that was parked on the side of the road, I headed toward the prerelease. Then I noticed I was being followed. There was a white van behind me, and as soon as I spotted it, two men in ski masks leaned out of the windows and shot at me with AK-47s. I tried to shoot them, but my gun jammed. Searching my pockets, I found that I still had on grenade left. I pointed the car down a straight stretch of road, then turned around and stood up in the moving vehicle. Pulling the pin on the grenade, I hurled it straight through the windshield of the van. It exploded, killing the men inside. Turning forward again, I found myself about to smash into the side of a semi truck. I turned the wheel quickly, but the road was wet, and the car slid sideways. I dropped down low in the seat, and the Porsche slid under the trailer, tearing off the protruding windshield in the process. Sitting up again, I turned and headed toward the nearest game store. I skidded into a parking spot and rushed into the store, only to see players pairing up for round one of the tournament. I had missed it. I had missed the prerelease.
My wife suffered symptoms of a stroke. Her dad had a bad stroke at, like 25 or something, so I rushed home from work and took her to the emergency room (along with my three sons in the minivan). We dropped her off and went home. She called us late that night and told us to pick her up, so I woke the kids and we drove out to get her. Turns out it wasn't a stroke, so that was good. Unfortunately, I had to make up the hours missed at work so I could participate in the finale of the Great Designer Search 2, so I once again missed my chance to get a DCI number.
went to my fave new store (gogo a=gaming goat plug!) only to find out that they didn't have a prerelease.
turns out they were a day late in submitting the paperwork for wpn status to get one.
I could have stayed at school and played with the scrubs there. form what was said about that tourney, it was easy pickings, except for the pro tour player at the shop. could have split with the dude he likes doing that.
This was a definite logistical misplay.
I wanted to make it, but Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the front door of my store when the owner was 15 minutes late. I've been unable to even play magic since then out of fear. Please if I win, send it to me in a plain white package from Victoria's Secret so that Chuck won't find out
I was caught slow playing and now I'm banned from the Prerelease Hall of Fame and all future prereleases.
[Here's why I didn't go to PreRelease…]
Every Noob
Down in Noob-ville
Liked PreRe a lot…
But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Noob-ville,
Did NOT!
The Grinch hated PreRe! The whole PreRe season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on PreRe Eve, hating the Noobs,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Noob down in Noob-ville beneath
Was busy now, casting an old Brush with Death.
"And they don’t even buyback!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is PreRe! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep PreRe from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew…
…All the Noob girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. Packs would all be unpeeled!
And then! Oh, the Sealed! Oh, the Sealed! Sealed! Sealed! Sealed!
That's one thing he hated! The SEALED! SEALED! SEALED! SEALED!
Then the Noobs, young and old, would sit down to a draft.
And they'd draft! And they'd draft!
And they'd DRAFT! DRAFT! DRAFT! DRAFT!
They would start in infect, and then go metalcraft
Which was something the Grinch thought exceedingly daft!
And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Noob down in Noob-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, all with binders parading.
They'd stand side-by-side. And the Noobs would start trading!
They'd trade! And they'd trade!
AND they'd TRADE! TRADE! TRADE! TRADE!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Noob-PreRe-Trading
The more the Grinch thought, "This is far too pervading!
"Why for nigh twenty years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop PreRe from coming!
…But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Rosewater hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy lark!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll impersonate Mark!"
"I need a rules manager…"
The Grinch looked around.
But since such men are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch…?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a rule man, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
And he tied the Comp Rules on top of his head.
THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the stores where the Noobs
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Noobs were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first store in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy voice hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Noob draft sets all sat in a row.
"These draft sets," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, that collecting canard,
Around the whole room, and he took every card!
Crushes! And Vatmother! Squadron Hawks! Orgg!
Force of Wills! Rootwalla! Chandra! Urborg!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the closet. He took the Noobs' sleeves!
He took the Noob-playmat! He took Lightning Greaves!
He cleaned out that closet as quick as Hulk-Flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last copy of Crash!
Then he stuffed all the cards up the flue with gusto.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "All Besieged has to go!"
And the Grinch grabbed Besieged, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small player!
Little Johnny-Lou Noob, whose fave card was Worldslayer.
The Grinch had been caught by this little Noob son
Who'd got out of bed for a Xiahou Dun.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Rosewater, why,
"Why are you taking Mirrodin Besieged? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little lad," the fake Rosewater lied,
"There's inelegant cards and I won’t let it slide!
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head
And “Mark” got Doubling Season and sent him to bed.
And when Johnny-Lou Noob went to bed to brew,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed Besieged through!
Then the last thing he took
Was the Fallen Empire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing for seller or buyer.
And the one speck of Magic
He left in the place
Was a pile of basics on which was scrawled “Jace.”
Then
He did the same thing
To the other Noobs' stores
Taking each
Every set
Be it in ones or fours!
It was quarter past dawn…
All the Noobs, still a-bed
All the Noobs, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their Titans! The Wraths! The Walls!
The Swords! And the Valakuts! Doom Blades! And Squalls!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Noobs!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no PreRe is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Noobs down in Noob-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow…
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Noob-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Noob down in Noob-ville, the tall and the small,
Was playing! Without any PreRe at all!
He HADN'T stopped PreRe from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without factions! At least that much is clear!
"It came without metalcraft, infect or myr!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe PreRe," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe PreRe…perhaps…means a little bit more!"
And what happened then…?
Well…in Noob-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the cards! And he giggled and laughed!
And he…
…HE HIMSELF…!
The Grinch started a draft!
[~hamiltonianurst (apologies Dr. Seuss)]
[I don't know where the beginning of this went…]
Every Noob
Down in Noob-ville
Liked PreRe a lot…
But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Noob-ville,
Did NOT!
The Grinch hated PreRe! The whole PreRe season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on PreRe Eve, hating the Noobs,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Noob down in Noob-ville beneath
Was busy now, casting an old Brush with Death.
"And they don’t even buyback!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is PreRe! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep PreRe from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew…
…All the Noob girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. Packs would all be unpeeled!
And then! Oh, the Sealed! Oh, the Sealed! Sealed! Sealed! Sealed!
That's one thing he hated! The SEALED! SEALED! SEALED! SEALED!
Then the Noobs, young and old, would sit down to a draft.
And they'd draft! And they'd draft!
And they'd DRAFT! DRAFT! DRAFT! DRAFT!
They would start in infect, and then go metalcraft
Which was something the Grinch thought exceedingly daft!
And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Noob down in Noob-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, all with binders parading.
They'd stand side-by-side. And the Noobs would start trading!
They'd trade! And they'd trade!
AND they'd TRADE! TRADE! TRADE! TRADE!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Noob-PreRe-Trading
The more the Grinch thought, "This is far too pervading!
"Why for nigh twenty years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop PreRe from coming!
…But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Rosewater hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy lark!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll impersonate Mark!"
"I need a rules manager…"
The Grinch looked around.
But since such men are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch…?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a rule man, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
And he tied the Comp Rules on top of his head.
THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the stores where the Noobs
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Noobs were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first store in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy voice hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Noob draft sets all sat in a row.
"These draft sets," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, that collecting canard,
Around the whole room, and he took every card!
Crushes! And Vatmother! Squadron Hawks! Orgg!
Force of Wills! Rootwalla! Chandra! Urborg!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the closet. He took the Noobs' sleeves!
He took the Noob-playmat! He took Lightning Greaves!
He cleaned out that closet as quick as Hulk-Flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last copy of Crash!
Then he stuffed all the cards up the flue with gusto.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "All Besieged has to go!"
And the Grinch grabbed Besieged, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small player!
Little Johnny-Lou Noob, whose fave card was Worldslayer.
The Grinch had been caught by this little Noob son
Who'd got out of bed for a Xiahou Dun.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Rosewater, why,
"Why are you taking Mirrodin Besieged? WHY?"
Hello there. My name is Harry Blaydote, and I would like to relate to you my sad tale of a missed pre-release tourney.
The day of the event arrived, and I realized I was running a bit late! Surely my MtG friends who usually got to places before me, Elliot VandenGard and Marian Croster, would already be there, looking for me. But, before I could reach my vehicle, I was confronted by a particularly menacing canine figure. No, this wasn't a friendly dog, and by its appearance it was perhaps even diseased. Ugh. But I would have to get by him, somehow… As luck would have it, two complete strangers suddenly showed up to help! As I cheered, they lured the dog off, and I was on my way.
Yes, I was late, but I would probably still make it. I had to try – I was the strongest player of the group and my friends were counting on me! But suddenly the glaring white sun broke free of the clouds, and out of nowhere two stray cats raced across the street in front of my car. I swerved to miss them and hit a pole. No! And I usually like cats, too. I ditched my car and set off on foot, cursing my rotten luck.
Just then, a strange woman in a shiny silver SUV pulled up next to me. "Hi, I'm Goldie. Need a ride?" Well if she could get me there faster, of course I'd take a ride! Despite her rather large, beaky nose, she turned out to be a very pleasant woman, dropping me off at the front door of the gaming store. To my utter shock, as soon as I stepped out of the car, a random bolt of lightning struck her vehicle! D: What strange weather…
But I had bigger problems. I'd made it to the gaming store, but already there were many people in line. I recognized a few of them: Flynn Surmite (former longjump champion with chronic halitosis), Phillip Rexian-Raser (who had the odd habit of punching anyone who invited him over to play), and there, right up at the front – as usual – was that jerk Gerdie-Lynn Geider. How'd she always get to these things so early anyways? The fact that she was so nice to everyone – opponents and teammates alike – sort of made me hate her even more.
Just as I approached the front of the line, the store clerk announced that registration was closed. What rotten luck. Utterly depressed, I went back outside and waited for my friends till the event was over.
And THIS was how I, Harry Blaydote tragically missed my prerelease tourney.
Epilogue: Several hours later, after the tourney was over, we were all walking to Elliott's car when that highly-skilled but perpetually-tardy Lee-Jeff Datangle arrived. Needless to say, it gave us all a much-needed laugh.
I could have attended this war, but I didn’t. Why? Simple, Phyrexia is subtle, smooth and sly. While we are now at open war with the Mirrans, that doesnt mean we can’t have a few surprises down the road. I was needed elsewhere, overseeing Compleation, but I am sure you will all see me in my glory soon enough. After all, I willingly gave my counsel to anyone who needed it in this great event.
Signed, Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger.
Note: I am as subtle as the faction I serve. Find the card reference hidden in my comment.
I had to skip the whole thing. Why? Because I'm a weasel, a dirty stinking weasel, how that I'm typing this is beyond your pathetic human minds. We, the weasels, will eventually, somehow, someway, take over Mirrodin, Phyrexia is just a figurehead for our master weasel plan. Infect? More like rabies. Proliferate? That's the weasel spit weaseling through the blood. Battle cry? That's called insanity. Living weapon is just our weason for weaseling Phyrexia out of our way. And if a weasel showed up to play you in magic, you'd just concede. As everyone knows weasels are the best magic players ever. Except for the pro tour players, they to good. (and they might be weasels too)
But that's why I didn't show, so you can go ahead and give me some chickens, I'm hungry, and bored
Prerelease? There has already been a prerelease? I thought, Urza's Legacy was not to be released before May …?
Seriously, I was lucky enough to get a ticket for a great Philharmonic concert in one of the most reknown concerto halls around. But, being a thorough Mtg-Player, I checked with my calender and found out that the MBS prerelease was not to be held before the following weekend.
So, everything seemed right.
I enjoyed an enchanted evening full of great baroque music, an intense choir, dramatic strings, winds like thunderstorms, channelling every bit of emotion.
After that great tempest of joy, compassion, a pure musical adventure, I decided to pass by my local store because on Friday there's usually some crowd drafting.
Well … alas, as you might already guess, they were tidying the store from the leftovers … OF THE PRERELEASE that was held that very evening.
Had I entered the wrong date into my calender, had I looked it up wrong? It did matter no more at this point. I had a little chat with the guys in charge and went my way … confused, but nevertheless, not unhappy.
I was, unfortunately, kicked out of the prerelease for trying to “infect” someone by biting them…
I would have played in my pre-release, except I had to judge the event. My LGS managed to get over 70 people which was their largest turnout in history! I had a lot of fun egging the factions against each other and helping new players with the rules (the stack can be confusing to some). It was an enjoyable almost 12 hours (lots of side-drafts going on) but I missed playing myself.
So, I have a true story that was pretty unlikely.
I have to ride my bike about 10 miles to get to my LGS. On a grey rainy day (Oregon) I was Headed to a 10 o'clock prerelease and just got onto the freeway bike lane when I picked up some metal and got a flat tire. I walked my bike, determined to get to the prerelease on time.
5 minutes into my walk, an old lady was walking her dog that was much too big for her, the dog saw me and bolted out of his collar headed my way. The dog was circling and growling and trying to get to me but I was using my bike as a shield to keep him at bay while the old lady wandered over muttering some meaningless apology.
I was soaked by now and a half hour ride had turned into an hour. I got off at the exit and was running out of time so I tried a new shortcut. I ended up in a trucking yard trying to make a straight line to the gaming store but an 8 foot fence blocked my way. I threw my bike over and climbed it myself. Over the fence in the woods I found a homeless camp by the railroad tracks and I was pretty freaked out. They turned out to be pretty friendly though and showed me the back way to get to the shopping center the LGS is located in. By the time I got there I was dirty and wet and it was 11 O'clock. The festivities were in full swing and I missed out.
At least I now have a story to tell… but a second chance at the prerelease would be amazing.
i would've gone, but the mirrans are gonna lose anyway and there's no way i'm playing phyrexian, so there was no point.
I missed the prerelease because I feel bad about spending money on Magic. I have so many old cards that are worthless now that I think what am I doing buying new cards. So I didn't go and I regret it. I really like prereleases, I should have gone. 😛
I wasn't playing the game.
You see, I used to play Magic as a tyke. But, you see, it was quite difficult for a lad my age to acquire the amount of cards necessary to not end up last at every single FNM event. Every. Single. One. So, eventually I stopped playing. I picked up Warhammer 40k, Warmachine, and Malifaux over time.
As a college student… I'm basically in the same hole. I did, however, just pick up the RDW event deck that was released, and tossed in another Contested War Zone and some gobbos from a couple of packs. I'm now happily playing with my friends. But a chance like this is too much to pass up. I know that my FLGS hosted this event, but it didn't interest me at the time. So, I suppose I'd like to get a second chance myself.
I don't know if this counts but it is a 100% true story.
I just picked up magic again, the last time I played was really Urza's block (god Palinchron was fun). I initially started playing MTG Online because I have a daughter with Aspergers which is high functioning autism. Then my buddy decided he wanted to get into a card game too, but he isn't computer savvy so no MTGO for him. The two of us had played Comic Images Raw Deal until power creep caused the game designers to kill the game. I was first in my state in Raw Deal but that's another story…
The reason I missed the pre-release and the reason this might not count at all is because I played the pre-release on MTGO and not on paper because at the time I had no intent of playing paper Magic. Since my buddy decided to get into paper I got into it with him, it's daunting trying to build a type 2 card base with limited knowledge of the current meta-game. I did play in my first FNM last Friday, it was a MBS-MBS-SOM draft and I did a bunch of research on the web before going. I brought my draft list with me and picked well and took 3rd place (I would have had second but the people playing for first and third decided to split). I'm entering this contest because I dropped $30 on the pre-release on MTGO all for a promo Glissa (Actually reading the darksteel eye right now so she is a familiar character for me) that is digital and I won't ever use now. I know this is kind of my own stupidity but I would love the Phyrexia prize and it would help give me a strong start on building a card base.
This Sunday I intend to aid Phyrexia in the war at Gameday (Mostly because I see a lot more room for the underlying MTG storyline to grow with New Phyrexia than Mirrodin Pure).
Thanks in advance for any consideration.
ALL WILL BE ONE
To be brutally, nakedly honest, the days leading up to the Besieged pre-release tournament was when I started playing Magic again after about a 4 or 5 year hiatus. I felt that a pre-release tourney would be just the thing to jumpstart me back into the game and I bugged and bugged any and all of my friends to come to it with me and promised them good times. No one cared about it as they all stopped playing Magic long ago (even before me) and lack that Magic spark that rekindles itself every so often.
Well I had nobody to attend the event with and no one to even play the game with if I even got back into the game. I decided to forget about it altogether until 2 days after the missed Pre-Release tourney, my girlfriend's brother talks to me about he started getting into Magic again and that he couldn't find anyone to go with either!
We both missed the tournament, but now that I had someone to play the game with, we both have been buying cards left and right. Also, I'm pretty excited because I now have the attention span to play the game seriously, and maybe after I finish my deck I can take it up to a Friday Night Magic and REALLY get into the game.
Also, xPHYREXIAx 4 LIFE
On the morning of the prerelease I awoke on the stump of a central tree in the once great tangle. I felt the stirring within me; the threat I had fought for so long to drive out of my home still existed somehow. Years before, my companions and I had beaten back the menace, fighting it off of our home soil, following the filth to its home plane, and decimating it. Urza died in that fight, and the result of his bloodlines project had to finish the job with the legacy weapon, including Urza's own time traveling golem. I instantly took a liking to Karn; he was steadfast in his devotion to nonharming, and I could see no more admirable cause. Still, I always felt uneasy knowing that my friends life, his sentience was the result of something innately phyrexian. My fears came to pass after Karn created his own plane, Argentum. Of course he missed Dominaria, who wouldn't? So he sent his probe here, the Mirari; it wreaked havoc, inspiring planar war. Karn reigned it in, and for some reason left it to guard his plane, but the oil corrupted it and locked him without. Eventually, the influence was destroyed. Karn descended to the center of Argentum, he told me he was going to purge the plane of Phyrexian influence once and for all. I should never have trusted him.
Now I knew. Phyrexia was back, it had spawned where it should have been eliminated. It spawned on Argentum. I knew what I must do, 'walk to Argentum, destroy this upwelling of Phyrexia before it was too late. I carved enormous circles into the ground and went about setting myself enchantments. who knew how powerful the oil had become? I needed to be prepared. I shouldn't have waited. As I went about creating the greatest aura of all, I was suddenly blinded and thrown aside. How could they be here? How could they already have co-opted a spark? Where would they get one? I already knew, but I couldn't face the truth. The truth that my best friend held the position of the greatest evil the multiverse has ever known: Father of Machines. There was no turning back; it was time to fight. With a roar of primal fury, I conjured forth an enormous elemental to stamp out the Phyrexian influence. I conjured up enchantment after enchantment to strengthen it. Then, with a wicked grin, it turned on me. Where its limbs of wood swept, the broken trees dripped with ichor. As I looked down at the wound in my abdomen, I knew it was too late. There was no way I could win this fight, but there was one way I could survive. With my last moment of consciousness, I stepped into my homeland.
I awoke with a start, in enormous pain and covered in leeches. "We had to remove the contaminant dear" explained the matriarch of the sengir clan. Without a response, I leapt to Argentum. I was too late. The influence has spread too far; I can't combat it alone. I've searched and searched for Mirran holdouts, but only find more bones reanimated in a grim mockery of life, compleation. The multiverse is lost, unless I can do for Karn what he once did for me. I must travel to the past and stop this atrocity when I can first raise the Mirrans to action, right as the Phyrexians emerge. As we all know, only one substance can travel back in time: Silver. I have heard of a Silverskin Armor found on Mirrodin, but the Phyrexians have destroyed it. If I could find just one set, I could go back and perhaps save this plane and all others, but where could I find Mirran items free of any Phyrexian taint?…
I wished to go to the pre-release, to arm myself with steel and will, in the service of the great cause; but yet a greater cause awaited me. The night before, as I gazed beyond the moon and to the stars, a yearning came over me, and the Five Suns faded into insignificance before the supreme purpose of my new quest. Overcome with the starlight, I flew to the outer reaches of the galaxy on wings of magic.
In the far reaches, I saved the universe with the aid of eight beautiful maidens, wielding the tools of the legendary Daoist Eight Immortals. We fought monsters from the deepest pits of hell and crusaded for an eternity-in-an-instant against the darkness. Strange vistas of wonder and excitement opened up before me, and everywhere we went, the cosmos became a better place. Where there was ugliness, we did sow beauty; where there was ignorance, knowledge; where there was fear, courage; where there was hate, forgiveness; and where all was lost and lonely, we showed them what it means to love, and so the many worlds rejoiced at our passing. We slew the lords of demons, and saved the Queen Mother of the West, and in memory of our brief, shining moment of glory, she placed nine new stars in the heavens, to serve as a constant reminder, for all who know to look. It was but one night, but it shall remain in my heart until the universe itself grows cold and dies.
And yet for my grand quest, the Five Suns languished and grew dim, for I could not travel to save them. Of all the worlds and all the planes, Mirrodin alone did not feel the light of our love or the mercy of our passage. I grieve for every Mirran who was lost or fell to evil, for my absence. To the familes rendered asunder and to the suffering wounded, I can only say: I am sorry, but my purpose called me elsewhere.
Here is a second chance; here, I may return to the world of metal and accomplish that which I could not at first. By the infinite planets, by the moons and stars, and by the Five Suns, I must return to Mirrodin.
Please, let me return to Mirrodin.
Well, we have to go a few weeks back for that, when a few friends where over for a visit and some games of Ascension.
When they where leaving friend G told my girlfriend:
"You know, you really should watch Dr. Who."
She says:
"Nah, I don´t like medical drama shows!"
A good laugh and a few weeks later I tell her I am going to the prerelease with friend L, we already had agreed on that several weeks earlier. Suddenly she starts complaining that the weekend is the only together time (and with that she means time spent together with our daughter) we really have since I work the whole week. I didn´t have much energy left and soon gave in to her.
In the end I was taking care of our daughter and she was staying in bed, watching Dr. Who on MY Laptop. (that she was against buying in the first place)
Life is not fair.
Not as cool as some of the previous stories, but I was doing something more important then going to the prerelease. I am in the US Navy. As part of my current job I render honors for the fallen veterans of our country. Usually we get an advance notice and can plan ahead, I often ask someone to replace me if there is a tournament going on. I pay him back later by taking one of his funerals. The notification of this funeral came in so late on Friday that I did not have time to set up a replacement. I did end up showing up to the prerelease too late, in my full dress blues ceremonious garb and all.
I had fully intended to attend the pre-release and ensured I had everything I needed in order to make it a day of days – I had dice, counters, and a deck box with sleeves. A week before the pre-release however, I did get a call from a friend who indicated that he required a big favour – he was scheduled to judge the annual 'chilli' contest held at a local pub (bar) around the corner. This was something he had done for years but had an unexpected business trip preventing his attendance. I, of course, jumped at this wonderful opportunity as I had no plans that evening – yeah – the evening before the pre-release.
In short, the chili event went very well and I, among a panel of 3 other judges awarded first, second and third prizes out of a field of 14 entries. The problem first made itself know to me just two hours before the pre-release was about to start. It manifested itself as a rather loud gurgling sound from my intestines where two spoon-fulls of fourteen different chillis resided. Apparently, one of the chilli entries was giving me some grief. I had then taken a dose of Pepto-Bismol to settle things down and then hit the road. Only one block away from my apartment, I stopped at an intersection light and while waiting had a series of long and loud flatus (plural of FART?) – The very last violent expulsion of gas also provided some additional 'substance' forcing me to return home, get cleaned up and force me to spend the rest of the day between the couch and the washroom.
I was busy buying my first ever deck, a precon "Deadspread" deck, as I am a complete noob to this MTG and my friend Becka introduced me.
…either that or I was with yo' momma.
Kinda blew the MTG budget for the next six months when I bought a Black Lotus. WOuld have liked to have played but hey….. What is more important here. I can always get MBS stuff in six months. A Lotus doesn't come up for sale every day of the week.
The serpent took its cue. Rising out of the quicksilver, it grappled with the Phyrexian, coiling around it like a python crushing its prey. As the blighted beast screeched for the last time, I knew I was safe.
The battle with the increasingly powerful Phyrexian ‘walker increased in stake. I rallied an attack of the Vulshok, only to have his infected spiders stifle them. When the arachnids attacked me, I sacrificed my Myr to stop them, than burned their remains with magic. The battle ground on.
I looked over the ridge at my opponent’s camp. There was a huge, metallic form proceeding toward me. The golem was easily a hundred feet tall, and encased in the swirling lines of magic that could only mean darksteel. Worse, I could see the Phyrexian symbol engraved, burning, on its chest. I was doomed. I looked up at the approaching form. Think, I told myself, what can I do?
I saw the red sun in the center of the sky.
My mana bonds were strong, and a fight this long had made them numerous. I poured all of the available mana into the red sun’s power. The Oxidda chain erupted with power and heat. As the colossus towering above us slowly fell, as the opposing planeswalker faded from Mirrodin, I realized this: we had won. There was cheering around me, but I ignored it as everything went black.
There was pale light around me. I slowly brought my surroundings into focus. I was in a hospital room, with tubes attached to my arms. One of my gaming buddies was sitting nearby.
“Dude, what happened?” I asked.
“You got hit by a car crossing the street,” he answered. “Do you feel okay?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I said. “Hey, what happened at the prerelease?”
“Mirrodin won,” he replied. “It was pretty narrow, but they made it.”
“You mean we made it,” I replied. “I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that we’ll endure for a while longer.”
I missed the prerelease but I was still the winner… I woke up that morning nestled between an overly exciteable alpaca and a Swedish lingerie model. I'll never know how I got there… or why I was wearing Charlie Sheen's Neyru Jacket.
I, on the other hand, did NOT miss the prerelease. Instead, I'm asking for a "do-over."
I started playing Magic again last year after 10 years of never touching my cards. Then, I finally decided it was time to sell them all since they weren't seeing play, so I started surfing around the internet to find the best ways to profit off of my cards. I stumbled across Quiet Speculation and realized I had found exactly what I needed to maximize my profits. I took the bait, swallowed the hook, and before long I had read every article on the site. Long story short, I'm now 100% back into playing and collecting again, but this time through I'm not throwing money down the toilet. Instead, I'm profiting. Or rather, finally digging myself out of a financial pit I got in 10 years ago.
Then the site went "Insider." I moaned and complained about it for a bit, then stopped reading because the info wasn't free anymore and I worried about the site losing focus. But now I was back into Magic and needed a fix, so I delved into the net again, looking elsewhere for answers. About this time, I started attending tournaments specifically to trade up and increase my binder value. You know what? I got rolled EVERY TIME!! It's so discouraging to get home feeling pumped about a trade, only to realize that you just flushed good cards down the toilet in exchange for crap.
By the time the pre-release came around, I realized the dilemma I had placed myself in. I ready to start speculating on the new set but had no idea what to look for other than my own instincts. I humbly apologized to the Gods of Booster Randomizing and I sat down to open my packs for the sealed tournament. Guess they heard me, I pulled: Venser, Consecrated Sphinx, Green Sun's Zenith, Go for the Throat, and a regular Glissa to go with my foil promo. Looking at my haul, I knew it was time to pay the piper.
I won two promo faction pack in the tournament, then took them and my sealed-deck pulls and I sold it all as singles that same day. Made enough to cover my entrance fee and cover some losses from being a horrible trader… and best of all, there at the end was exactly 9 dollars left over. I used it to sign up for Insider and by now have already made enough to fund my next month's subscription fee, too.
So I'm back, and now a paying customer. I was wrong, you were right. You are smart, I'm a dumb-ass. Your staff is good-looking, I'm a Phyrexian Stepchild. Apologies for ever doubting, please accept me back into your graces. And… if you wouldn't mind… please ship me that rockin prize package while you're at it!
I learned my lesson but now I'm out all that great stuff! Especially the faction packs which, because I was an idiot, I cracked and sold for much less than their sealed product value.
Not quite as compelling as some of the soul-jerking responses I'm reading, but hope you enjoyed my story and thanks for the great content. 🙂
I missed it because I started playing Magic two days afterwards. Whoops. Bad timing on my part. Then I worked on the actual release. I made up for it at the Game Day yesterday by playing a Mirran-aligned deck, one of only two, and got the associated preview card by default despite my dismal low-mid placement. Now I need a chance to further show my allegiance to the Mirrans and my hatred of the Phyrexian rotters trying to destroy our world. We will endure.
I wanted to go really badly but I couldn't. I had homework that day and on top of that, I had rehearsals for a school play. On the second day of the pre-release, I had school and it happened to be at the same time when the pre-release was occurring at the closest store to me. The fact that the closest store that holds magic tournaments and events is 20 minutes away from my house and the second closest is 30 minutes away.
I was getting ready to go to the prerelease, when an alien saucer landed in my front yard. A tall, purple humanoid alien stepped out of it ” LIam, I need your help, my planet, demo, is about to be eaten by the ravenous bodblatter of tantive 4 . We will be chewed up, digested, and finally left in a toilet ten to sixteen hours later. That is why I have come for your help. You are the greatest hero in all of the universe.Surely you can defeat him.” Yes, I can. And dont call me shirley.” And then I flew off to the aid of planet xeno. When I got there, I saw him. His giant green head was about to devour the planet. So I grabbed one of xeno’s five moons and threw it at him. He wasn’t even dazed, but at least I got his attention. The battle was fierce, and went on for over an hour. ” we are evenlymatched” I said,” the only way we can decide the winner is through a game of magic. If you win, ill give you my foil vengevine signed by ke$ha. If I win, you have to promise to not eat this planet.” Little did I realize that it was really brad nelson in desguise. He was attacked me with a squadron hawk equipped with both of the swords, but I unsummoned it and the following turn used green sun’s zenith to search out maelstrom angel and play it. The next turn, I attacked with it, putting emrakul, the aeons torn into play. Then I played waves of aggresion to attack witbit again, putting progenitus into play. In one he chump blocked my creatures with his other squadron hawks, but I would still win next turn. Like a coward, he decided to go kamikaze with two slagstorms, fonshing both of us off. Everyone booed at him, but it was technically a tie. So we decided the winner like realmen, in a game of rock paper scissors. I did rock and he did scissors. I had singlehandedly saved the alien planet of xeno from a horrible threat. That’s when I realized that I had missed the prerelease.
I was helping my future mother in law move into her new apartment. She just sold her house as she is downsizing after moving her husband into an Alzheimer's adult family home and we all rallied around to help her in this difficult transition.
-Hireling
I missed my prerelease because my parents are lazy I kept telling them we needed to leave they put it off. For two hours they put it off. I got there at two in the morning and couldn't play. I begged and pleaded for them to allow me to at least buy a couple packs. They said no and that I had to leave. I cried all the way home.
This is really simple. Gross and simple.
I have two kids. My Son's second birthday was the night of the tournament. That by itself wasn't a good reason to miss since he usually hits the sack about 6:30.
The plan was to celebrate the good second year as a family and then slip out the door and speed like a bat-out-of-hell to arrive on time.
The day didn't go so well. Grant had been whiny and suffering all day. He was obviously sick. He really didn't eat much throughout the day, but we coaxed him into a slice of his birthday cake. Yum!
20 minutes later we all got to enjoy the cake again as we were cleaning it off of everything. And colored icing stains even the most "stain-proof" carpets! Especially after it has been partially digested 🙁
But my friend did pretty well and forked over a few of his dupe commons.
True story here. I had to go to an anime convention on the weekend of the pre-release. I met up with my younger cousin who I hadn’t hung out with in a long time. My cousin’s parents divorced recently, and my fiancée and I agreed that my cousin needed some good peer role models after the divorce.
My fiancée knows how much MTG means to me and felt really sorry after I told her that I was missing the pre-release so that we could spend time wih my cousin. Winning this contest would mean more for her than it would for me, since she likes to see me happy and be able to enjoy the one main hobby I have now that we have real world jobs and real world responsibilities.
Also, when I came back and tried to buy the Phyrexian deck box from my local store, they were sold out and said that their distributor was sold out, too! It would be a nice plus for me to get that deck box. Just sayin’
I was sat babysitting a friend's child all weekend. I spent the time looking deep into the child's eyes and imagining Doom Blading her. Or Lightning Bolting her. You get the idea.
PART 1
OK, True story.
‘Twas the night before pre-release and all through the comic shop
Greedy Magic fans awaited eagerly the newly harvested card crop.
With Doctor Jeebus at my side and Jimi at my back
We passed the time away with boring games of Hacky Sack
“How much longer until midnight?” Doctor Jeebus asked with a grunt.
The line stretched to Wal-mart, but we were in the front.
When out on the street there arose a great buzz.
I sprang out of line to see what it was.
I looked past the crowd of weary on-lookers
And saw Charlie Sheen accompanied by 8 drugged up hookers.
One girl looked dead, another wore no top
And he called them by name as he walked into the shop.
“Hey Cindy and Mindy and Lindsey and Diane
And you… I don’t know your name, but you have large cans.
I have an idea how to make this evening fun:
Watch me go into this store and be a jerk to everyone.”
PART 2
Charlie’s hair was all greasy and he had bourbon breath.
He smelled of cigarettes and tiger blood with a hint of crystal meth.
He strode confidently to the front of the line
And announced, “Good evening nerds: These new cards are mine.”
Jimi asked what we were thinking. “Can we buy these cards from YOU?”
“No way lady,” was the reply, “I’m the god of Malibu.
And gods don’t need money, you wormy little toad.
I make one hundred thirty billion dollars an episode.”
Then he laughed an evil laugh that was booming and tidal.
It made me sick. (Like when I watch American Idol.)
He took all the cards and shoved them in his pants
And with his thumb to his nose did a stupid little dance.
Jimi screamed, “You mean old man. You aren’t worth a hill of beans.”
He replied, “Well, I’m a Vatican assassin warlock.” (Whatever the heck that means.)
I turned to Jimi and whispered he could get bent.
We would just try to win these cards later on Eratis’ Lament.
PART 3 – THE EXCITING CONCLUSION
With his pants full of cards and his twisted face grinning
He turned to leave the shop. We knew he was winning.
But what happened next turned his grin to a frown.
Anyone could see something big was about to go down.
At the doors stood the man; The Duke: Zombie John Wayne!
Do I really need to rhyme this? It was Zombie John freakin’ Wayne!
He spoke “Drop the cards, Sheen. You shall not pass.
I’ve returned from the dead to kick your whiny ass!”
And kick it he did. It was such a sight to see.
John rearranged Charlies’ neck where his spleen used to be.
Zombie Wayne threw a left hook that showed no pity.
It sent out shockwaves of energy that leveled our city.
Jimi, Doctor Jeebus and I climbed from the wreckage that fell.
We came out card-less, but with a heck of a story to tell.
And I swore I heard Zombie Wayne exclaim as he rode out of sight,
“You’d better win this contest, Pilgrim, or I’ll kick your butt tomorrow night!”
I didn't go to the Prerelease because I was busy recovering from the final marathon challenge of the Great Designer Search (which I won, only to not get the job).
Also, I was taking care of our 2 1/2 year old and 7 month old kids so my wife could recover from 4 months of taking care of them alone because I was so busy doing design challenges for a job contest that I would go onto not win.
Also, my wife was really tired because she had double pneumonia.
And I was building the jungle gym in our back yard that I'd been putting off doing since October because I was too busy…you guessed it…doing design challenges.
Finally, even if none of that had happened, we still wouldn't have gone because we have two kids under age three and all of our disposable income goes towards frivolities like diapers and formula, and all of our free time fighting entropy (our daughter) and chaos (our son).
(I'm really not that bitter about everything, but might as well play it up for yuks and packs)
Scott
I missed my prerelease because I was sick on that day. Gaming with 50-60 other people in a relatively small space with the Bubonic Plague didn't necessarily seem like a good idea at the time.
Now I kind of wish I had my promo cards!
Oh well..
i missed the pre-release because those two days I was at work. as much as I love magic and am a die hard ptq grinder, I could get those days off from work as my manger was on his first vacation in 3 years with the company. I haven’t been able to get into stanard as I have worked every fri for the lasting 4 months and haven’t been able to get to an fnm to play.
This contest is now closed. Thanks for all the great entries, and our judges will have their work cut out for them picking a winner. Good luck to everyone!
hmmm what to say there already so many i'd vote for as a judge.
while i'd love more cards ( yay trade fodder) there not many i need from this
set but maybe this will be a good help to going infinite good luck to all
*crosses fingers and hopes for a glitch >:) *
I do like the manner in which you have framed this specific issue and it does indeed offer me personally some fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, through everything that I have witnessed, I only wish when other opinions pile on that people today keep on issue and not embark upon a tirade involving the news of the day. Still, thank you for this exceptional piece and while I can not necessarily agree with this in totality, I respect your standpoint.
I have a magic the gathering card that is wrote in what looks to be an asian language. It has a woman with a white dress and what seems to be butterfly wings on it. Any information would be helpful..